1) If love is blind, then why is there lingerie?
More to love and than there is more to see.
2) Why are they called “apartments” if they are all connected?
Because your apart from your parents
3) Should you believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
I have no idea what if they are lieing to you again
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
Yes they did
5) Why is it that dogs love to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at you if you blow in their face? Because they like the wind not your breath on them.
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
Every where around you
7) If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Well no is there to hear but yes it still makes a sound when it falls to the ground.
If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn’t congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the Pentagon were run by women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
I have no idea.
11) If your seat can become a floatation device, why can’t the airplane become a boat?
Because boats can’t fly
12) Isn’t a “free gift” redundant?
I have no idea lol maybe
13) Why do people say it’s a nice day in summer but complain it’s way too hot?
Well here in Tucson it gets hot but its a perfect day to go swimming in a pool.
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
I guess purple
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren’t book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11? They want to be different
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Ask the people that made it like that.
16) Why is a completed building still called a “building” since it’s already built?
Because its a building
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
you need something clean because there are a lot of sickness out there that you dont want
18) How can there be self-help groups?
I have no idea
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that sheep don’t shrink when it rains?
Because they try to hide from the rain.
21) If a 24 hour convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors? Thats the way they made it
22) Why does the term “wind up” mean both start and end?
hmmmm i have no idea
23) If the word for more than one goose is geese, then why aren’t groups of moose called meese? You tell me. The English language is weird like that
24) Did you know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve? yepp
25) If olive oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil? I don’t know you tell me
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing? Because your talking about sports not anything else.
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers? yeah its a cracker not meat
28) How do you know if sour cream has expired? the way it tastes
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G? how should i know?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty? ahah nopee
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass? they are round and they want to name them that. i dont know
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy? well thats what other people think
33) Why do people insist on stating things that “go without saying”?
ask me later
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
yes they do
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern day witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
Yes cause thats what all the witches are doing now a days
37) Do mermaids wear algaebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
we are a civil city lol
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get “missile toe”?
i would hope not
40) If people have nightmares, what do horses call their scary dreams?
41) Do you get to keep the time you save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
ITS NATURAL OK!
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
hopefully they are smart and have a non drunk driver
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
they stop helping them
45) Why do they call it “rush hour” when the traffic is so slow?
because thats when everyone comes out
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it “tourist season”?
its when they visit other places
47) Why aren’t moustaches called “mouthbrows”?
you tell me
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
cause we have no life
49) Why does minute rice have to cook for 15 minutes?
becasue hint word “minute”
50) Why aren’t wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
cause they aren’t
51) How do you slam revolving doors?
52) If you put food colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an orange is orange and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow? cause thats just stupid